Billy, a little bunny rabbit, was hopping down the field, when he met a sheep.
Hopping up to the sheep, he said, "I'm a little dirty bastard, who are you?"
The sheep replied. I'm a sheep, and you're not a little dirty bastard, you're a bunny."
Billy just shook his head and continued on his merry way, looking at the clouds and smelling the flowers as he hopped along the field.

Soon he met a goat. Hopping up to the goat, he said, "I'm a little dirty bastard, who are you?"
The goat replied "I'm a goat, and you're not a little dirty bastard, you're a bunny."
Billy just shook his head and continued on his merry way, looking at the clouds and smelling the flowers as he hopped along the field.

Then he met a horse. Hopping up to the horse, he said, "I'm a little dirty bastard, who are you?"
The horse replied "I'm a horse, and you're not a little dirty bastard, you're a bunny."
Billy just shook his head and continued on his merry way, looking at the clouds and smelling the flowers as he hopped along the field.

Eventually, as Billy hopped along, he came across the cutest, prettiest little girl bunny that you have ever met. She knocked his socks off. Billy hops up to her, cleared his throat, and said, "I'm a little dirty bastard, who are you?" She looked at him, smiled and said, "My name is Christeen, and I'm a little bunny. What's your name? Why do you say you're a little dirty bastard?"

Billy said, "My name is Billy, and I am a little dirty bastard. Everyone says so."
Christeen turned her pretty little nose up into the air, and said,
"If you can't talk decently, go away!"
And so saying she turned around and started to eat some grass.
Billy hopped on and shagged her like crazy.
Christeen jumped up and said, 
Why, you little dirty bastard!"
Whereupon, Billy smiled and hopped away.

I refer to my husband in bed as the "Energizer Bunny." It's not because he can go for hours or anything -- it's because he's really good at rolling over and handing me fresh batteries for my vibrator.

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells
size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"

Shared by Susan J. Thank you!

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces
to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely
(she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand
of condom she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted.

Easter Bunny Car Costume

       
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A man walks up to the drugstore counter and asks for some condoms. 
The man behind the counter tells him to go see Edna in aisle 4.
So the man finds Edna. Edna grabs him by the crotch,
then gets on the PA system and says,
"Medium condom. Medium condom."
Well the man is very embarrassed,
but goes to the counter to get his condoms.

Later, a second man goes up to the counter to get some condoms.
The druggist tells him to go see Edna in aisle 4.
Same thing happens, Edna grabs his crotch, gets on the PA and says,
"Large condom, this man needs a large condom."
The man is pleased, and goes to pick up his condoms.

Next a teenager goes into the drugstore to buy some condoms
for the very first time. He's told to go see Edna in aisle 4.
Edna grabs his crotch, gets on the PA and says,
"Clean-up in aisle 4, clean-up in aisle 4."

Shared by Valerie L. Thank you!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we
had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where
you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well.
"Okay", he says, "How about taking a stroll around there
again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police office sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having
a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having
sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.
So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks halting along, leaning on each other for support
 aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their
way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in ... then suddenly
they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen.
This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and
moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life
and old age that he didn't know.
After about half and hour of lying on the ground recovering,
the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing,
I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else.
You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

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